Louise Palanker: shameful clothes, inattentive boyfriend | Homes and lifestyle

Question from Felicity

Weezy, my family can’t afford clothes and stuff that all the kids in school have, and sometimes we go shopping at thrift stores. Once, someone who goes to my school must have seen me there because suddenly everyone called me poor and dirty.

I feel alone and excluded because I don’t have Coach handbags or Bench jackets and my phone was from my friend who sold it because it was cracked.

How can I feel like I belong when I don’t?


Fit should have nothing to do with what you wear or hold. Your character’s content is your most valuable asset. Own what you have and love your look. If someone says something about it, you can reply, “Do you know how superficial you seem right now?” Then walk away.

A lot of very cool people choose to shop at thrift stores because you find such interesting and unique items. Clothes with stories and history and character. You can create your own style and stay within your family’s budget and be proud of it.

My opinion on wearing things that have a label for the sake of that label is not very high. In fact, I think they should pay me if I walk around advertising their brand like I’m some kind of billboard.

You do, and when someone says something rude, stand up for yourself and highlight their silly words. It is very sad that these children have such a poor and dirty character.

(Totally Studios video)

• • •

Asked by Sam

I had problems with my boyfriend. He doesn’t text me a lot because he’s trying to improve his grades, but he also doesn’t text me for days because his phone keeps “dying” randomly. He’s an absolute angel when he texts me, but I don’t know. Should I drop him? Because I feel a little neglected tbh.


The answer to this question will have to come from within you. We cannot change anyone else. We can only decide what we would like to do based on our experiences and whether the people we have chosen as close confidants meet our needs.

You might want to try not texting him at all for a while. Give him a chance to miss you. See if he reaches out. When you let someone go, one of two things happens. They can come back to you, or you can stop caring if they do or do or don’t.

You deserve to have a boyfriend who makes you a priority and goes out of his way to help you feel safe, protected, and loved. If this isn’t happening regularly enough for you, try taking several steps back.

You can also let your boyfriend know what your expectations are in a relationship. How often would you like to talk to him and see him, etc. Ask him how much time he will devote to his studies over the next few months, then make your next decision based on what you learn and how you feel.

You can be patient and understanding, but only up to a point. If your goals don’t align with his, maybe it’s time for you to find the love you deserve in someone else.

• • •

Have a question for Weezy? Email him at [email protected] and it can be answered in a following column.

Louise Palanker is co-founder of Early radio networksthe author of a semi-autobiographical coming-of-age novel titled Newspapersactor, filmmakerclick here to see his documentary, Family Group: The Cowsills Story), a teacher and a mentor. She also co-hosts the podcast Media journey with Fritz Colemanand teaches a free, free acting class for teens at Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara. Click here to read previous columns. The opinions expressed are his own.

Elizabeth J. Harless