Nothing up his sleeve or above his collar | Reviews | Salt Lake City

Did you hear the news? The great American freedom fighter and detective from Utah who couldn’t find prostitutes at the Sundance Film Festival – Attorney General Sean Reyes – is “planning” to run against Senator Mitt Romney in 2024. Reyes’ political skills are, shall we say, remarkable, given that his Midas touch often turns events into something that isn’t exactly gold, more of a brownish hue.

Shortly after the presidential election, the Utah AG rushed to Nevada to help Donald Trump’s team investigate election ‘irregularities’, after every major US news outlet called in the race for Biden. Nevada AG Aaron Ford politely told Reyes to ‘take care of himself [f—ing] company.” In December 2020, Reyes joined a group of 16 other Republican AGs in a lawsuit to overturn the presidential election results. Critics called him “stupid” and the Supreme Court dismissed him from office. right away.

The hits just keep coming: In 2016, Reyes and the boys went undercover at Sundance in search of prostitutes. The news from the Desert reported this: “They found nothing, but say they learned they may not have been looking in the right places.” Your taxes at work! You might be right, Wilson, maybe the Hawaiian shirts gave them away in this sea of ​​black clothes.

“I’d rather be Russian than a democrat”
MAGA’s Russian lovers have second thoughts — or are suddenly silent — about their platonic relationship with Vladdy “My Daddy” Putin. At CPAC this year, Lauren Witzke said, “Russia is a Christian nationalist nation…I identify more with Putin’s Christian values ​​than I do with Joe Biden.”

In August 2018, two men appeared in The Cleveland Plain Dealership wearing T-shirts that proclaimed: “I’d rather be a Russian than a democrat”. After it went viral, they said they were “just having fun.” Perhaps, but evangelist Franklin Graham praised the Russian dictator for “protecting children from any homosexual program or propaganda”. [like we have here in the U.S.].”

When Putin unleashed Russian military might on Allepo, Syria, a World Heritage Site, reducing it to rubble, right-wing Christians applauded him for protecting Christianity. (We couldn’t make that up.) Tens of thousands of civilians were killed. Christian values, indeed.

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is a Putin toad and that evangelicals believe Trump is heaven sent to save America from gays, pagans and Democrats. What if Putin had to kill tens of thousands of innocent people to save European Christianity? And please don’t ask what Jesus would do. It wouldn’t be fair.

Protect the police – the citizens, not so much
Law and order lawmakers in Utah recently passed legislation that would deny public access to certain police records and would, no doubt, hamper accountability. Meanwhile, Republican lawmakers refuse to budge on the standard for using deadly force: When an officer feels threatened or believes others are threatened, they may use deadly force.

This despite calls from Salt Lake County Attorney Sim Gill for the law to be reviewed. “We are at a point where a legitimately dangerous profession has protections disproportionate to the expectations of our communities,” he said.

But hey, here in Utah, cops are trained to shoot first and ask questions later. Example: Dillon Taylor, 20, was shot outside a convenience store when a cop thought Taylor was about to shoot him. Taylor was unarmed, but under Utah law, the DA had no choice but to find the shooting justified. The civil lawsuit filed by Taylor’s family was dismissed by the court. The list of tragedies goes on and on.

DA Gill said the public needs accountability. The trend, however, is in the opposite direction. Republican State Rep. Paul Ray said if people want different outcomes, they should lose the attitude. “We make excuses for people, and I’m done making excuses for people.”

Post Scriptum-It’s the end of another week here at Smart Bomb, where we’re done making excuses for the Republican-dominated Utah Legislature and their promise to take us back to the 1950s. Well, you raise good point, Wilson, the 1950s are starting to look good (except for civil rights).

But remember, Chuck Berry didn’t appear until 1955, one of the first rock ‘n roll followers. He released ‘Maybellene’ in 1955, ‘Roll Over Beethoven’ in ’56, ‘Rock Roll Music’ in ’57 and ‘Johnny B. Goode’ in ’58. And get this: “Johnny B. Goode” was launched into space in 1977 by NASA’s Voyager 1 probe with Mozart and Louis Armstrong – to give extraterrestrials a clue to who we are. You can imagine how the Little Green Men might react when they hear, “Go, go, go Johnny!/Go, go/Johnny B. Goode!”

Of course, we can’t ignore Elvis, who rose to fame in 1954 with his cover of Arthur “Big Boy” Crudup’s rhythm & blues ballad, “That’s All Right.” He backed that up with “Hound Dog” in 1956, Big Mama Thornton’s 1952 blues hit.

The blues is the basis of rhythm & blues, which in turn led to rock ‘n roll and changed the world. Cosmos? Maybe if the Green Men dig “Rock Roll Music with a backbeat, you can’t lose it.”

Well Wilson, you could be driving a garbage truck today if it wasn’t for Chuck Berry, Elvis, Buddy Holly and them. We’ve come a long way and the music has been amazing and a healing salve to our troubled world. So why don’t you and the guys in the band give our wonderful Attorney General Sean Reyes some balm for his troubles:

Moonlight on the alley
Baby, where am I from
There’s a poisoned girl, a poisoned girl

sister do medicine business
Three dollars less for the weapon
She’s a poison girl, poison girl

I’m waiting in town
As she went underground for a ride
I’m waiting in town
As she takes a turn to the side

Well I’m sitting here burning my money
It’s worth nothing if only to score
With that poison girl, poison girl

There’s a place and I know
Anyone can pick up their prize
There’s a place and I know
You put your soul on ice

Well, mom said, “Son, what are you in a hurry for?”
Mama didn’t even know what I did
For that poison girl, poison girl
“Poisoned Girl” – Chris Whitley

Elizabeth J. Harless